Who We Are

Please note: this page was created by the whole team. Each member wrote a serious paragraph about themselves which was then passed round during a meeting. everyone got to lovingly change a word each. We feel these versions are the more ‘accurate’ bios! Enjoy…


jayJason Orbaum

Jay is a co-founder of NotGames and responsible primarily for game design and bug creation, although he has done a few of the more unrecognisable vocal impressions.

Jay published his first game on the Dragon 32 in 1741.

Subsequent to this he worked designing games for DoMark, Virtuality and Rebellion.

In what little spare time he has Jay plays and sings with the Charley Farley Sunday Four, plays too many computer games and watches pornography with his many burns victims.





 Alex Paterson

Alex co-founded NotGames in 2013 as a porn artist, gag-writer and occasional coder.

The team discovered early on that to get the best jokes out of him they should chain him to an angry badger
during the wee hours and let hysteria do the rest.

Over the course of NotGames times together, Alex has developed multiple growths and can sometimes be found jabbering to himself in sexy underwear




AndyAndy Murray

Andy co-founded NotGames back in 2013. Having created the NotFont in his own blood, he decided to take a crack at coding. Within a week he was known as ‘Destroyer of Games’ due to the multiple crashes he caused and while not removed from the team was creatively spanked.

He has since employed his law degree to aid in the legal and business sides of NotGames, but enjoys being ignored in the creative areas and development of products as well. (it’s him you can thank for two of the unseen aspects of NotGTAV).




Denis the WookieDenis Sewell

Denis co-founded NotGames in 2013.

Denis is known as “The Enforcer” at NotGames and you can often see him handing out a bollocking or two. When not being an angry little man he is usually fiddling around on Photoshop or making offensive jokes in the office while listening to the whole Spotify playlist of 90’s Classics.

His dream is for world peace but for now he will settle for NotGames making some money.




Emma Kendallemma

Emma came to the team in 2013 with the job of making sure everything was saved in the right place and reminding people to eat; it was an unfortunate cookie that the team later found out that sometimes she wrote quite funny stuff.

She can quite often be found refreshing e-mail inboxes, acting as a general interface with the world so that nobody else has to, napping, or making babies.




Kate Helmy

Kate was the founding scribbler at not games. She hand drew  the majority of  things you can see in their games. She can also be heard once in NotGTAV.

Kate has also been known to fiddle with the occasional child digitally, but tend to stick to the good old pen and quill.

Since the war she has gone through 207 complaints and 3 bosses.

She also does this website.

(Don’t ask her about Denis.)




Nick PorterNick

Nick Porter was born and educated in Surrey, England, attended Exeter University to study Modern Languages, and is responsible for tension building at NotGames.

He was hired with no clothes, no references and absolutely no previous experience making games whatsoever. He’s done an OK job so far.

His hobbies were reading, watching movies, and kung fu. Now he’s not allowed hobbies until he’s finished work.

He enjoys a friendly blowjob with the office women.




Anna-Louise VincentAnna

Anna was one of the original team that co-founded NotGames in 2013 and proudly took her place as Head of Sound / Studio Wench.

While working at NotGames, Anna completed a degree in acting and music and in her spare time can be found doing acting. Or music.

With a talent for harmony and weird noises, Anna is the voice of the majority of songs and lots of sound effects in NotGTAV.


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